90 Best Sarcastic Quotes – The Ultimate Collection for Every Mood

You have our sarcastic quotes to fall back on when everything or something goes for a toss. Sarcasm is a form of irony used to mock a situation or a person. Sarcastic quotes are also great for conveying your disdain indirectly.

Oscar Wilde said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.” However, often the biggest irony here is that some people might not get your sarcasm and will believe what you are saying while continuing to nibble because your sarcastic comment surpasses their comprehension level.

The person delivering the sarcastic utterances uses humor to mask the intended message, which is quite sharp and sometimes unpalatable. Being cautious while stretching your sarcastic muscles is vital because there is a difference between mocking and slandering.

Our sarcastic quotes are the perfect blend of witty words and wisdom, which serve your purpose. Therefore, you can use them without offending someone gravely.


Most Popular Sarcastic Quotes Everyone Should Know

1. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

Sarcastic Quotes


2. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

3. “If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”

4. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

5. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

6. “I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” – Chandler Bing, “Friends”

Sarcastic Quotes


7. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see you every day.”

8. “Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”

9. “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

10. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”


Savage Sarcastic Quotes

1. “I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have crayons and a blank piece of paper with me right now.”

Savage Sarcastic Quotes


2 “You consistently set low expectations for yourself and still fail to meet them.”

3. “I’ve met some pricks in my time, but you, sir, are a cactus.”

4. “Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.”

5. “I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay an admission fee.”

6. “If brains were dynamite, you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose.”

Savage Sarcastic Quotes


7. “Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell them.”

8. “You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway.”

9. “If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.”

10. “Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”


Clever & Witty Sarcastic Quotes About Life

1. “Life is short. So is your attention span.”

Clever & Witty Sarcastic Quotes


2. “Life’s a soup and I’m a fork.”

3. “Welcome to life. Spoiler alert: Everyone dies in the end.”

4. “If life gives you lemons, maybe life likes watching you suffer.”

5. “Life is what happens when your phone is charging.”

6. “My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.”

Clever & Witty Sarcastic Quotes


7. “Life called. You’re not on the VIP list.”

8. “Life is an endless series of trainwrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness.” – Deadpool

9. “Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.”

10. “Life is like underwear; change is good.”


Sarcastic Quotes About Work life

1. “I love my job, especially when I’m on vacation.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Work life


2. “The best part about work is that it’s daily.”

3. “Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?”

4. “Work: where I’m forced to endure endless hours of ‘not being on the internet’.”

5. “I owe my soul to the company store… and they don’t even pay me in soul-worthy rates.”

6. “Teamwork makes the dream work. Unless you have a team of idiots.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Work life


7. “I pretend to work here. They pretend to pay me.”

8. “Of course I’m busy. I’m on a break!”

9. “Remember when I asked for your opinion at work? Yeah, that’ll never happen.”

10. “I don’t have a solution, but I do admire the problem.”


Funny & Hilarious Sayings on Sarcasm

1. “I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode.”

Funny & Hilarious Sayings on Sarcasm


2. “If you’re cooler than me, does that make me hotter than you?”

3. “I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

4. “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll make an exception.” – Groucho Marx

5. “When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”

6. “I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my rear.”

Funny & Hilarious Sayings on Sarcasm


7. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

8. “If I wanted to hear from an idiot, I’d watch the news.”

9. “I wasn’t listening, but I strongly disagree with you.”

10. “Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing”


Sarcastic Quotes On Love & Relationship

1. “Being in a relationship is like having a pet that eats all your food and occasionally kisses you.”

Sarcastic Quotes On Love & Relationship


2. “True love is like ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it.”

3. “They say you can’t live without love… I think oxygen is more important.”

4. “Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” – George Burns

5. “Love is the answer. But while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.” – Woody Allen

6. “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?” – Lily Tomlin

Sarcastic Quotes On Love & Relationship


7. “Love is blind. Hopefully, it’s also deaf so it can’t hear all the stupid things I say.”

8. “I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday, you really got on my nerves.”

9. “Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Ambrose Bierce

10. “Love is grand. Divorce is at least a hundred grand.”


Sarcastic Quotes About Friends

1. “True friends stab you in the front.” – Oscar Wilde

Sarcastic Quotes About Friends


2. “Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.”

3. “It’s the friends you can call at 4 a.m. that matter. Because they’re probably awake, plotting something as well.”

4. “I hope we’re friends until we die. And then, I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the heck out of people.”

5. “If you’re going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.” – Marilyn Monroe

6. “Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”

Sarcastic Quotes About Friends


7. “Friendship is so weird. You pick a human you’ve met and you’re like ‘Yep, I like this one’ and you just do stuff with them.”

8. “I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats.”

9. “You think I’m crazy? You should see me with my best friend.”

10. “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.”


Sarcastic Quotes to Silence Haters

1. “Haters are like crickets; they make a lot of noise you can hear but you never see them, then you walk right by them and they’re silent.”

Sarcastic Quotes to Silence Haters


2. “Behind every successful person lies a pack of haters. I love my fans!”

3. “Haters will see you walk on water and say it’s because you can’t swim.”

4. “Keep talking, you’re making me famous.”

5. “It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone… especially the haters.”

6. “Oh, you hate me? Join the club. They are weekly meetings at the corner of ‘Get A Life’ and ‘Grow Up’.”

Sarcastic Quotes to Silence Haters


7. “To haters: Don’t criticize me for my flaws and mistakes when you can’t even see your own.”

8. “Dear haters, I couldn’t help but notice that ‘awesome’ ends with ‘me’ and ‘ugly’ starts with ‘u’.”

9. “Haters are my favorite. I’ve built an empire with the bricks they’ve thrown at me.”

10. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one’s for you.”


Short Sarcastic Captions For Instagram

1. “Perfection level: Me.”

Short Sarcastic Captions


2. “Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.”

3. “Sarcasm: just one of my many talents.”

4. “Reality called. I hung up.”

5. “I’m a limited edition, not a special edition.”

6. “Not everyone’s cup of tea, but someone’s double shot of whiskey.”

Short Sarcastic Captions


7. “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”

8. “Throwing shade like it’s sunny!”

9. “Brains are awesome. Wish everybody had one.”

10. “If I was a bird, I know who I’d poop on.”

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